To change your outside, change your inside: eating humble pie

In my own experience, going from daily binging to no binging, basically what I did was throw out everything I thought I knew about food, eating, weight, and health … and totally rebuild and reexamine everything. This is extremely difficult – but necessary for true recovery! It took a long time for me to realize I couldn’t think my way out of this problem, because my THINKING was impaired by BED, depression, and anxiety. I finally realized that if I wanted to stop doing the same things, I needed to stop thinking the same way. I had to fundamentally change ALL of my thinking about food and my body.

The hardest part about this was the humility – realizing that I had been wrong – so, so, so wrong – realizing that everything I was doing was only making it worse and worse and that I didn’t have a clue. I’d always prided myself on being smart – that was the ONLY thing I ever liked about myself  … So when I realized that my brain was actually part of the problem, it was shocking and heartbreaking, and it made me feel like I had nothing left. I was sad. There really wasn’t anything good about me. Nothing to love. 😦 Or, that’s what I thought.

Looking back on this now, I think that was my rock-bottom moment. It happened over a year ago. I didn’t immediately get better … I binged for many more months after that, knowing only one thing – that I didn’t know anymore! I eventually found intuitive eating, and it saved me. It made me realize that, YES, I actually CAN trust myself – there IS wisdom in my body – but it’s not all in my brain. I’m not just a brain (or a walking head, as Geneen Roth calls it).

I am sharing this story – my story about eating “humble pie” – to show that I KNOW what it’s like to feel stuck and to feel like there is no hope. I have been there. But there is hope. The thing is, you have to be willing to reexamine and relearn everything … and maybe even take a bite of humble pie … or eat the whole thing, as I did :).

I challenge you to identify a few beliefs about food and weight that are not serving you well. How would your life change for the better, if these negative ideas weren’t weighing you down?

One thought on “To change your outside, change your inside: eating humble pie

  1. Wow, for sure my thinking is what is getting me into the most trouble. I know so much about quitting binge eating – about the lower brain urges, forming new neural pathways, etc. But I still do it again and again and again. And then I feel awful physically and emotionally and I’m so guilty. I’m inspired by your success and I was there – I went binge free for 117 days in a row and felt like I had really changed my brain. So I know it’s in me.

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