Feelings, food and weight

So, as many of my followers know, I’ve been binge-free for a while. I couldn’t tell you exactly how long, but I’m guessing somewhere in the area of 4 months. Does this mean I’m completely cured of my eating disorder? Well, I will say that I have zero desire to binge anymore. I do still struggle with emotional eating and body image issues sometimes, but even in those areas, I’m a million times better off than I was a year or two ago. So, does this mean I still have an eating disorder? Maybe, maybe not. I think it just means that I’m a normal woman. I’m not sure if the labels are that important at this point.

Along with being a normal woman comes hormones, depending on your stage in life. At this time in my life, hormones tend to hit me pretty hard, and they sometimes make me question all my progress and success – in other words, ED’s voice becomes louder. As I noticed this happening earlier in the month, I came across this quote from one of my favorite bloggers, Isabel Foxen Duke:

“Worrying about food or weight is the ultimate distraction from what’s really going on.”

So true. I love her. So, along with hormones and other life stuff, I’ve found myself doing exactly that – worrying more than usual about food and weight. Not a fun place to be – back in ED’s world inside my head. However, I realized yesterday that’s NOT the problem. My food and weight are fine. I’m doing fine in BED recovery. I’m simply avoiding my OTHER problems by pretending it’s a food or weight issue. I don’t know whether to be happy or unhappy that I’ve figured out one of my mind’s own tricks! 😉

I think it’s a good thing. Sure, sometimes it would be easier to obsess about food or weight instead of dealing with the HARD stuff, the emotions, the anxiety, the stress … real life. But, many months ago when I came to the crossroads where I could choose either life or ED, I chose life! I’m not going back. ED is no longer welcome here.

Next time you’re stressing out about food or weight, consider that it might be a signal that something else is wrong. Don’t let ED distract you from dealing with real problems and life goals. You – and your life – are worth so much more than that! 🙂

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2 thoughts on “Feelings, food and weight

  1. This is so true Asia! Bingeing and food obsession have NOTHING to do with food! When I am working with women around this, they alway come to me feeling like they can’t stop obsessing about food and weight. I always respond by asking them if they weren’t preoccupied with food and weight, what would they be thinking about? Something that took me a long time to fully realize, and implement into my own life, is that bingeing is a distraction. It is a way that we create a secondary problem when the initial problem becomes too uncomfortable. As frustrating and shameful as bingeing can feel, I promise you it is more comfortable than whatever it is you are avoiding! Thanks for sharing your experience!! ❤

    • Yep, I agree! 🙂 I think this is why it’s so hard to break free – I mean, how can we fix the problem if we don’t even know what the real problems are (because ED does such a good job distracting us and covering up the real stuff)?! It took me a long time to see that.

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